Marriage is a steep learning curve in more ways than one.

Learning to love and accept another human being, warts and all, is so different from a Hollywood love story, and not for the faint hearted. All while juggling job, family, mortgage or rent and your own voice full of dreams and frustrations.

But marrying into another culture can introduce you to what my friend calls ‘cultural differences’ i.e. unexpected ways in which your two families act, feel and behave.

And if you have the memory of an elephant and the ability to feel hurt quite easily, the result is explosive.

It is often nobody’s fault. We are all the result of our own upbringing and experiences, and the examples of being adults that we have seen around us. But arguments and tension hurt because this is part of being human.

A long time ago came the realisation that we have an amazing power, even if we feel small and defenceless at times. Because we can break the circle, so that what we received will not be dished out to future generations. And it makes me feel great.

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